When it comes to Chinese dating, it’s a whole new world.
There are different customs, different behaviors and different expectations.
But with a little patience and some good timing, there’s every possibility you’ll find your Chinese soulmate (or at least have fun trying!).
In this blog, I’m going to talk about the traits of Chinese girls, show you the main Chinese dating sites and apps, reveal some romantic days in China, and share some dating tips along the way.
You should find it particularly helpful if you’re a foreigner who doesn’t know where to start.
Now, let’s make your Chinese dating dream a reality.
Chinese dating – know what you’re getting into
Chinese dating is quite unique.
This is mostly because Chinese culture is very different to what you’re used to.
Chinese society has been around for thousands of years, and sometimes the way of doing things, like dating and expressing love and affection, may seem odd to you.
There can also be vast differences within China due to the sheer size of the country.
For example, the appearance, wealth, education, and communication style of a lady in Shanghai might be poles apart from that of a lady in Lanzhou, Western China.
Chinese dating can be special. Image by Sahachatz on Shutterstock.
Generally speaking, those living in a Chinese province on the east coast are wealthier and more educated than those living inland.
And, they’re more likely to have traveled overseas and spoken with foreigners before. This can make a big difference when dating.
You might find it easier dating a Chinese person who has some experience with foreign culture, even if it’s just knowledge about some American TV shows or the kinds of food we like to eat.
Finding a connection based on common values and shared experiences can help. Having said that, I understand there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
Just remember that Chinese dating is uniquely different and you’ll learn a lot along the way.
Traits of Chinese girls
There are some stereotypical traits and characteristics of Chinese girls.
Whether you agree with them or not, it’s important knowing them before going down the Chinese dating path.
By the way, if you’re wondering why this section is about girls and not guys, it’s because I’m talking to the majority (sorry, ladies).
Why there are relatively few Western women looking for an oriental man is a story for another time.
So, here are some of the main traits of Chinese girls.
1. They’re focused on marriage
When you date a Chinese girl, if it’s going well she’ll soon start thinking about marriage.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – it just might take you by surprise. In short, Chinese ladies date to marry.
So, whatever you do, make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to marriage. Don’t lead her on if you’re only wanting something physical.
2. They want to feel beautiful
Chinese women are into beauty and beauty products.
Compliment your lady on how she looks. If she asks how she looks in a certain dress, tell her she looks beautiful.
Don’t go overboard with the compliments, though. It’s still important to be yourself and remain authentic. Honesty is paramount in Chinese dating culture.
3. They’re loyal and caring
Chinese girls are generally very caring and loyal. But they don’t like showing public displays of affection, like holding hands.
4. They can be materialistic
Chinese girls like it when their man gives them a gift. For many girls, the more gifts the better! It shows how much you like her.
So, shower her with nice things like perfume, jewelry and foreign luxury goods. This is a key difference with the West.
Could you handle a materialistic girlfriend? Image by Kenstockphoto on Shutterstock.
If you’re in China, wine and dine her (as well as give gifts). And if you’re in it for the long haul, you’ll be expected to buy the marital apartment.
5. They’re influenced by their parents
Chinese parents expect the best from their children – the best grades at school, the best jobs, and the best partner. If you’re not good enough in the eyes of the parents, you’re not going to get very far.
You’ve also got the language barrier to contend with. Her parents probably won’t be able to speak a word of English.
In-depth information about Chinese girls
This article is about Chinese dating in general, and the resources available to help you find the girl of your dreams.
If you’d like to find out more about Chinese ladies and what makes them tick, I recommend you read the following:
- The A-Z of Chinese girls – if you can only spare a few minutes
- A man’s guide to dating and romance in China – another easy read
- The lowdown on Chinese girls – you’ll need to grab a cup of coffee for this one!
Finding your Chinese soulmate
Chinese dating is obviously easier if you’re based in China.
You can do all the old-fashioned things like go to bars and clubs, or befriend people at your workplace (though some foreigners have had awful experiences dating colleagues in China).
Looking for love online. Image by Dodotone on Shutterstock.
With the proliferation of online dating, however, you can be anywhere in the world and strike up a conversation with the woman of your dreams.
And there’s a plethora of Chinese dating websites and apps. Here are the main ones.
Chinese dating sites for foreigners
The main Chinese dating sites for foreigners are aimed at Western men who are looking for a Chinese lady.
I’m going to assume you don’t speak any Mandarin, so the websites and apps that follow are ideal for English speakers.
Just remember that most people in China don’t have a good grasp of English. So when you do strike up a conversation, try to use clear and simple English.
ChinaLove Cupid
- Available: Website and Android app
- Members: Over 1.4 million
- Cost: Free and paid options
Established in 2005, ChinaLove Cupid is one of the biggest Chinese dating sites. Some people call it Chinese Cupid.
No matter where in the world you may be, you can find true love on this dating site. They’ve connected thousands of Chinese singles with people from around the globe.
Find your Chinese cupid on ChinaLove Cupid. Image by Weidong on Shutterstock.
Looking at member profiles and sending love hearts is free. However, you’ll need one of the paid versions to send messages to anyone.
To get a ‘trusted dater’ green badge on your profile, you can upload your ID (like a passport). This is a good way to prove you’re a safe bet.
AsianDating
- Available: Website and Android app
- Members: Over 4.5 million
- Cost: Free and paid options
AsianDating is particularly popular with Western gents looking for a lovely Asian lady, many whom are Chinese.
AsianDating is in the same stable as ChinaLove Cupid, and has similar payment options. If you’re serious about meeting someone, you’ll need to upgrade from the free version.
The benefit of this site is you can broaden your search beyond China, to countries like The Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam. This is great if you’ve got an Asian fetish!
Chinese Kisses
- Available: Website and Android app
- Members: 330,000+ active members
- Cost: Free and paid options
Chinese Kisses is for fun, friendship or marriage. It covers every base!
It’s free to sign up and receive daily contacts. But a monthly membership will give you 300 contacts per month to help you find ‘the one’.
Chinese Kisses is popular with Western men. Image by The Visuals You Need on Shutterstock.
You can also enjoy lifetime access to contacts, which is good if you meet someone and it doesn’t work out.
The site is especially popular with European men who are looking for Chinese girls.
The user interface is a little dated, but hey, all in the name of love, right?
2RedBeans
- Available: Website, iPhone and Android apps
- Members: 750,000
- Cost: Free and paid options
2RedBeans is the leading online dating website for overseas Chinese, mostly in North America.
So, technically this site doesn’t fit my description above, as it predominantly attracts Chinese looking for other Chinese.
But there are also plenty of Western men looking for a Chinese girl on the site. And, 2RedBeans recently opened offices in Shanghai and Guangzhou, giving us a glimpse of their expansion aspirations.
Their members are quite special – 90% have at least a bachelor’s degree and 75% hold a master’s degree or above.
So, if you’re looking for a super-smart Chinese lady, you know where to go!
What I really like about 2RedBeans is the personal matchmaker service. For a fee, their matchmaking team will screen candidates for you and set up dates.
In comparison to other providers, 2RedBeans is a little pricier.
Chinese dating apps
The Chinese are practically glued to their phones. So if you want to get cozy with a local, it makes sense to check out some of the best Chinese dating apps.
Note that these apps are mostly aimed at the domestic Chinese market.
Tantan
- Available: iPhone and Android apps
- Members: Over 300 million
- Cost: Free, with premium packages available
Often billed as ‘Chinese Tinder’, Tantan is designed to cater to the needs of millennials.
Like Tinder, you simply swipe left or right on a profile, depending on whether you like what you see. Ironically though, Chinese people use it for relationships rather than hook-ups.
(By the way, Tinder is banned in China. You can see a list of the banned apps in China here).
Tantan is one of the most downloaded Chinese dating apps. Image by The Visuals You Need on Shutterstock.
To stop fake profiles and bolster security, Tantan identifies real photos and verifies users with a powerful moderation system. That’s pretty neat.
With more than 10 million daily active users, Tantan is one of the hottest Chinese dating apps to get a hold of. And it has an English version.
Momo
- Available: iPhone and Android apps
- Members: Over 100 million active users
- Cost: Free and paid options
If you’re looking for some cheeky fun in China, Momo is your app. You can connect with strangers based on interests and location.
This app is so big it’s even on the NASDAQ!
You’ll need to be able to speak Mandarin to use Momo. They shut down the international version a few years ago.
But if you’re crafty enough, you could use a translator on your phone to get by.
Momo includes a lot of features that make dating easier. So, not only can you find a date on your phone, the app will show you advertisements for date locations and special offers so you can get things like a discounted coffee during your date.
Despite a recent Chinese government crackdown on inappropriate apps, Momo is still the app of choice if you’re looking to hook up with a young hottie in China.
- Available: iPhone and Android apps
- Members: One billion+
- Cost: Free (you can buy other services within the app)
Connecting more than a billion people, WeChat is the biggest and best app in China. It’s the main way people communicate digitally in China.
Whether you want to send messages or share photos and videos, you can chat freely through WeChat.
If you’re unable to express your feelings in words, you can send a sticker to make your chats more fun. Chinese girls love cutesy things like that!
See also: Communicating with your Chinese girlfriend using WeChat
While it’s not a dating app as such, lots of young people use WeChat to meet new friends. That’s why I’ve included it here.
Yes, you can even find love on WeChat. Image by Roman Odintsov on Pexels.
For example, in almost every Chinese city there’s a group called Couchsurf (followed by the name of your city). Simply search for it and request to be added.
These groups are a means for locals to ask questions, and to advertise events happening in the area. This includes things like speed dating.
Blued
- Available: iPhone and Android apps
- Members: 40 million users
- Cost: Free
This one is for the gay boys!
Blued is the most popular Chinese gay dating app with over 40 million users worldwide. Most guys are located in China.
You can interact with guys in live broadcasts, share your real-time location, and even send disappearing images.
Grindr is also used in China, especially by English-speaking Chinese men who are looking to hook up with foreigners.
Other Chinese dating sites
Here are some more dating sites. They’re really geared towards Chinese people, so they’re only useful if you’re a local or can speak the language.
Jiayuan
This is one of the largest dating websites in China. It’s serious about helping members find a husband or wife, rather than a fling. Most Jiayuan members are located in China.
The Jiayuan site isn’t meant for hookups. Image from Pixabay.
Zhenai
Another popular matchmaking website, active users of Zhenai reached 10 million during the Lunar New Year holiday in 2020 as the coronavirus forced people indoors.
Tips for Chinese dating sites and apps
Here are some of the best ways to get the most out of your membership on these sites:
- Add lots of photos to your profile (but nothing X-rated)
- Select as many preferences as the site allows
- If you like the site but the free version is too restrictive, upgrade to the paid version
- Pay for the shortest membership period possible and see if you like it
- Login regularly so you don’t miss any opportunities
- Save the site’s email address to your safe senders list so nothing goes to junk mail
- Never send money to anyone you meet online.
You should also take each Chinese dating site’s membership statistics with a grain of salt.
While a site may say they have thousands or even millions of members, many members won’t be active users and may not read your message.
Keep privacy in mind
Think carefully about the kind of personal information you’re giving to dating site operators. Some may require your most important ID, like your driver license or passport.
The company may not be based in your country and data protection laws may be lax.
Ultimately, it’s your choice how much personal data you give away. I’ll admit though that it can be a Catch-22 situation – members are likely to skip over incomplete profiles.
Also, if you want to surf the internet anonymously, you need a virtual private network (VPN) app on your pc or phone.
Having a VPN means your online privacy is protected and you can browse anonymously.
Check out my VPN review here or skip the review and buy the one I recommend by tapping on the button below. Yearly plans are only a few bucks a month.
Romance scams
We’ve all heard the one about the so-called Nigerian Prince fleecing the foreign woman of thousands of dollars. But it can happen in the Chinese dating world, too.
Scammers can approach you through legitimate Chinese dating apps and websites. They might build trust by claiming to work in a trusted occupation, and use fictional names and stolen pictures.
Their goal is to receive money or personal information from you. For example, asking you to help pay for urgent medical treatment.
This is a big alarm bell. Don’t give them anything – see if they’ll agree to meet in person first.
See also: How to learn basic Mandarin
COVID-19 has intensified the dating scene
In most countries, online romance in a post-COVID world has become more than just finding love. It’s also a source of comfort and connection.
Chinese dating apps have seen a significant increase in usage following the outbreak.
That’s good news for you, as there are more fish in the sea – but probably more competition too!
Like I said before, be patient and know what you’re getting into.
What’s your end game?
If you do meet the Chinese girl of your dreams online, what’s your end game?
By that I mean how do you plan on having a relationship? If you feel a connection, would you visit China and meet your lovely lady face-to-face?
Then if it works out, would she move to your country? Or vice-versa? And how easy is that?
Are you thinking short term or long term? Image by ShutterOK on Shutterstock.
You need to think about the time and cost factors involved. The person on the other end may also have different hopes and aspirations!
As the saying goes, “love will find a way” but just be prepared for the sorts of challenges that may come up.
Teaching in China… for love
Many older men go to work in China as English teachers. (It depends on the province, but 55 is usually the cut-off age to get a work visa for China.)
These men go to China with the primary aim – though many would never admit it – to find a Chinese woman and eventually bring her back to their country.
Teaching English is simply the platform that enables them to do this.
If this option attracts you, check out the guide on how to find a job in China or browse jobs in China on The Helpful Panda jobs site.
Love and marriage
If you happen to get to the marriage proposal stage, these external links may help (if you’re American):
Laws are different for each country, so check with your government’s foreign affairs department before tying the knot.
Dating a Chinese woman may lead to marriage. Image by Aslysun on Shutterstock.
I recommend taking baby steps though – maybe start with a tourist visa and go and visit China.
Chinese tourist visas are relatively cheap and easy. In some cases, you don’t even need one.
You can check out this page for more information on simple Chinese visas.
When is the best time to start dating?
Start when you’re ready.
It’s not fair on your future partner if you’re not over your ex, or you’re not committed to the present.
While there are always single Chinese people looking for love, it can be heightened at the following times when people may be feeling particularly lonely:
Spring Festival
Known in the West as Chinese New Year, this is the most special time of year. It happens in January or February, depending on the lunar calendar. It’s when families get together, eat and celebrate, just like our Christmas.
See also: Do Chinese celebrate Christmas?
It can also be a stressful time for singles who return home without a partner, or are pressured by their family to find someone, particularly women approaching their 30s.
Sadly, you’re deemed a ‘leftover’ in China if you’re not married by around this age. It’s a stigma that’s attached to you until you find someone, which may never happen.
If you have a spare eight minutes, this short documentary about a single woman in China is compelling. It will open up your eyes to how hard it is for women in China.
See also: The best documentaries about China
Chinese Valentine’s Day
Qixi Festival is in August each year. Like Spring Festival, the date changes based on the lunar calendar.
On this romantic day, couples spend time together, enjoy a nice dinner and exchange gifts.
Valentine’s Day, February 14
The Western holiday is popular with younger people in China. Generally, women buy chocolates or gifts for their guy.
White Valentine’s Day, March 14
Men are expected to not only reciprocate the gift received on February 14 – by giving white chocolates – but also giving more expensive presents in return.
There are many romantic days on the Chinese calendar. Image by Wichai Bopatay on Pixabay.
520 Festival, May 20
In Mandarin, ‘520’ sounds a bit like ‘I love you’, hence this day has become synonymous with love in China.
Singles Day, November 11
More a day to celebrate singlehood than find romance, 11/11 represents four single sticks. It’s a big day for online shopping in China, similar to our Black Friday.
Reaching out to a lovely Chinese lady on a romantic day would be appreciated, especially Qixi Festival or 520 Festival.
This is because it shows you’ve learned a bit about the Chinese culture and language.
A lot of Western guys expect to find a Chinese bride not knowing a thing about the culture or language. Put yourself in her shoes – how would that feel?
You can check out this page for more information on romantic days in China.
The Chinese Dating Park
I can’t finish this article without touching on the Chinese Dating Park (also referred to as the Chinese Marriage Park).
It’s a quirky feature of the Chinese dating world that’s worth knowing about.
Usually once a week, parents (most notably mothers), arrive in the dozens, if not the hundreds, to advertise their unmarried offspring in the local park.
This is because Chinese parents are desperate for their adult children to find ‘the one’, especially before they turn 30 and become leftovers.
A Chinese Marriage Park in Shanghai. Image by By Bystrov on Shutterstock.
Hoping to find a suitable son or daughter in-law, they bring photos of their children, and a resume listing name, age, height, education, job history, and sometimes their child’s prerequisites in a suitable partner.
It’s a sight worth seeing if you ever make it over to China.
See also: 8 unique Chinese cultural norms
A reminder if you’re traveling to China
If you’re planning a trip to China, don’t forget the internet is censored there.
So, when using Wi-Fi you won’t have access to your favorite sites and apps like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Gmail, Google and heaps more, unless you get a VPN before you go.
You can refer to my review for the best China VPN (or skip the review and go here).
Just make sure you download it before you arrive as the signup page will be blocked in China.
Are you ready for Chinese dating?
Now that you know a bit about Chinese dating, it’s time to put the pedal to the metal if you want to find a soulmate.
But remember – be mindful of the cultural differences and nuances, be patient and understanding, and most importantly, be respectful.
If you’re not currently in China (which rules out meeting in-person, for now), have a go at using some of the Chinese dating sites and apps I’ve highlighted.
If you don’t know where to start, try one of the more popular ones like ChinaLove Cupid.
With some patience and persistence, you’ll get there.
In the words of Confucius, “It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop”.
I hope you enjoyed my article on Chinese dating. For more information about Chinese girls, I’d start with the A-Z of Chinese girls and go from there.
Or, if you’re feeling inquisitive, find out what massage in China is really like.
