That’s right, peeps! We’re now onto our second article about Chinese girls.
Here, I will look at how foreign men are perceived by Chinese girls, so you can put your best foot forward.
If you’re interested in finding love in China, you have certainly come to the right place…maybe.
Being a foreigner can be an advantage
In Australia, where I’m from, Chinese girls and other ethnic beauties stand out.
Their sultry voices, curvy eyes, dainty figures.…
In China, however, YOU son, are the ethnic beauty. Whoa!
I know, calm down.
To be expected, China has a different standard of beauty when in contrast with Australia. Chinese value white skin, big eyes and height.
The latter especially helps give Chinese girls a sense of physical security, considering how imposing you will be to everyone else.
It also comes down to our fashion sense.
It’s fair to say that many Chinese are comfortable dressing down. Don’t get me wrong, there are those who wear suits and ties, but there are plenty of men donning track-pants, long baggy shirts, and loose-fitting jeans.
When I was working at a language training center in Ningbo, half of the staff, men and women alike, showed up daily in track pants.
I even had students arrive for class in their pajamas!
There is something about a foreigner in a suit that Chinese girls find fashionable and appealing.
Furthermore, it has something to do with our character and world views. If I had a dollar for every shy Chinese bloke I met, I would have enough money to retire on. There are however girls who find introversion cute.
Foreigners are often seen as being confident yet laid-back, with a willingness to just be ourselves and not give a BLEEP what others think.
Foreigners are also considered more open-minded.
A good friend of mine recently broke up with her local Chinese boyfriend, citing him as ‘too traditional’, because he refused to accept her opinions.
Money, money, money
Another thing going for us foreigners, is we are stereotyped as being rich.
It’s no secret that foreigners can be paid upwards of four times the salary of their Chinese colleagues.
And yes, some of your co-workers will hate you for this.
Despite being one of the most family-oriented cultures, Chinese people also love money.
Don’t get me wrong – everyone requires money. But from my perspective, it is a tool I use. Unless I am purchasing something, I basically never think about it.
Chinese are often stereotyped as being materialistic. Considering the average Chinese girl will demand a car and a house before you wed, it’s not exactly a lie.
This is also a result of the poverty that crippled China in the past.
Chinese people have never forgotten this, and like every culture, parents only want the best for their children. They have therefore raised their angels to demand financial security, residential security, vehicular security, and personal security, from their future men.
On top of this, I am going to contradict something I wrote in part 1 of my article series on Chinese girls.
Many Chinese girls are perfectly content to remain in China with their families. Some however, will like you because of what you represent – a chance at a new life.
Why some Chinese girls want a new life
The dreaded Gaokao at the end of a student’s high school year ultimately decides a person’s future job prospects.
Get a high mark, you can become an English teacher. Get a low mark, you can be the assistant to the local janitor.
Some Chinese girls want to meet a foreigner who will take them away from the job that they hate, so they might have a second chance at a university abroad, so they might earn more money, so they might better their circumstance.
I know girls in China, who graduated from university two years ago, who earn, on average, 1,200 RMB a month. That’s about US$180. These are people who can barely afford to feed themselves, let alone pay their rent.
It’s not hard to imagine why they would want to lift themselves out of these situations, and what they are willing to sacrifice to do so.
This ultimately leaves you with a choice.
Whenever I was in China, if I met a girl who openly revealed she wanted to be with me, just so she could one day go abroad, I closed the door on her, fearing I would be used.
If a girl doesn’t love me for who I am, but what I am, paying attention only to the color of my skin and the country on my passport, I don’t allow her to stick around.
You, dear reader, can obviously make your own choices, but I am certain all of you have seen stories online of men and women alike, using others to get what they want.
A few bad apples doesn’t mean the entire batch is bad, but, do you want to run that risk?
The concept of ‘laowai’
If you are not Chinese, you are a laowai, a foreigner.
You are not an Australian, you are a foreigner. That man over there, he is not Nigerian. He is a foreigner. That American, he is a foreigner too. That bloke from England, he is a (fill in the blank).
We are all painted by the foreign brush.
A good thing about that, is it brings people from all different cultures together. The issue is, if one foreigner puts a toe out of line, in the eyes of the Chinese, so too did everyone else.
Have you heard stories about foreigners using Chinese girls for sex, and then dumping them? Have you heard of foreigners knocking up Chinese girls, and refusing to accept responsibility? And, have you heard all foreigners have AIDS and a serious problem with flatulence?
No? Well, I have, unfortunately.
And even more unfortunate, so too have most of the Chinese girls, regardless of the authenticity.
You need to get into the mindset of the Chinese to understand why they are so quick to think this way.
The way Chinese view themselves
Chinese people see themselves as above-reproach. They are always seen as law-abiding, good-hearted members of the community.
In 2018, there was a DiDi driver (the Chinese equivalent of Uber), who was raping and murdering women in Zhejiang province. At least four women fell victim to him, before he was apprehended by authorities in Shanghai.
This story received a lot of traction in Zhejiang. I spoke to Chinese people about it, at the time, to get their thoughts.
All of them said the same thing: that rapist and murderer, was not Chinese. He was an animal.
That same mentality is not applied to foreigners.
Foreigners are all the same
Another example; in 2019 I met a girl through friends at a couple of parties.
She was like water, very open and fluid, and we struck up what I thought to be a great bond. We chatted online between social outings, and admitted we liked each other.
Then I met her alone, and gone was the girl I knew. This one, was ice.
She refused to meet anywhere her friends might be, so we travelled 20 minutes out of the city. When we finally sat down for a meal, she said she could never date me.
Her aunt had fallen in love with a man from Korea, who had cheated on her.
“But, he’s Korean,” I protested. “But, you’re a foreigner!” she proclaimed. “You’re ALL foreigners!”
She went on to say she would never be able to introduce me to her family or her friends as her boyfriend, because it would be humiliating.
Apparently, it wasn’t humiliating for me to be led along by the nose, which leads into one final point.
The feelings of foreigners, are not always respected in China. It’s alright for a Chinese girl to flirt with a foreigner, or to sleep with a foreigner and then abandon him.
But if a foreigner does that to a Chinese, there will be hell to pay!
It’s a double standard that you will need to accept when navigating the strange world of dating in China.
(You can read this blog for more on dating in China.)
A communist education
There is a special communist class that students take in primary school, middle school and during their senior years of education.
This is one way that Communist Party members are chosen. During these classes, students are told how China is the most incorruptible society, and that the rest of the world is evil. Another word for this would be: indoctrination.
According to the teachings, Chairman Mao traveled to every continent, yes, including Antarctica, and discovered that all the people (and penguins) in these places, were malicious.
I’d be surprised if Chairman Mao visited all of China, let alone the rest of the world.
Some of these students, as they grow up, never move beyond these ideas.
In the era of the internet, Chinese people have access to the rest of the world, and many grow to make up their own minds.
But those beliefs, that foreigners are wicked, remain.
I do wish that these stereotypes didn’t exist.
But if you want to have a Chinese girl in your life, you will need to accept these negative views.
And, you’ll need to decide how you plan on navigating the arguments that can happen.
It’s virtually impossible for one man (i.e. you) to change the way foreign men are perceived by Chinese girls.
In the next article, I’ll fill you in on where you can find some beautiful Chinese girls.
And, where you won’t find any (you’ll have a laugh at my war stories).
You can check it out here.